July52014

I bet all the asexuals and transgenders and everyone else just breezes over my posts on the matter thinking I’m just an ignorant moron who refuses to accept their views. They probably get so offended that they can’t even bring themselves to respond……..
I just need to do what I do best and hide. Keep my head down and press onward without thinking about anything.
I don’t wanna be alive anymore. I hate this impossible chaotic world full of opinions and sides, and oppression. Winners and losers.
Per aspera ad inferi. March on stupid, cowardly me. It’ll be over soon, with any luck.

2AM

Here’s a thought on why this sexuality and gender movement is bothering me so much.

Man, I wish I could be asexual. I envy them. I wish I could be free of this tangled ball of feelings and confusion. I feel like I would be pretty much fine living with the problems that asexuals have had to deal with in the past. All of these stupid emotions I feel from not being asexual are so strong that they can literally change my physical view of the world, making my eyes see things in brighter or darker colors, or covered by a grey film. I have incredibly intense emotions too. I’ve been told my whole life that all of these emotions boil down to sex, and as I’m trying to either come to terms with that or dismiss it, I’m surrounded by people telling me that sex and gender are meaningless! I know I’m dealing in extremes a bit here, but my emotions move too fast for my brain to keep up with, and that’s the way I feel. While I’m trying to come to terms with that the only way my body can think to deal with that confusion is piling on stress.
It’s like everyone is constantly being oppressed. I don’t even know how we can start to deal with it.

June242014

My thoughts on the entire sexuality/gender movement of today.

It’s not that I disagree with you, I just think… You’re moving too fast. Your opinions are too strong for the majority of humanity to handle. Things have been set in stone for a very long time… It’s kind of like sculpting. If you want to change something, if you want to shape this block of stone that is humanity, you need to move slowly, little by little, or else you could just straight-up shatter the whole thing. But at the same time, you can’t move too slowly, or else you won’t make enough of an impression. It’s a delicate balance, and you need to be careful to get it just right, or else you will either do too much damage, or not enough to create the discernible feature that you want to. Right now it’s still okay. From my point of view (as a sexual-typical and someone fairly new to the whole movement) your opinions are hitting hard, throwing me off and making me uncomfortable. This is what you want! You have to make a large enough number of people feel this way so that you get their attention! So that they can notice you and start making little changes to their way of thinking! It’s the initial jab right now, but I guess, well what I really /want/ to say is “Ease up please, you’re hurting me!” But I know that is what needs to be done… I dunno, I just still so… Disoriented… I’m with you, I just… Be careful. (I say in a shaky voice) Or else you won’t get the recognition and acceptance that you want.

If you read this, please respond to it, message me, tell me what you think. I’m interested, I’m just having trouble wrapping my head around everything. Tell me what you think, if you kind of see what I mean or disagree with me entirely. But do explain. Don’t just yell at me for being ignorant or not understanding how you feel, that doesn’t help anybody.

June162014

Stupid Mutterings

falling-apart-sl0wly:

You make me feel so inferior. I sometimes wish I wasn’t your friend.

Yeah, I know that exact feeling.

4AM
June152014

I need a better way to do this sex thing! Like with a woman. Preferably brunette, fair or pale-skinned, slightly shorter than me, a-b cup, wears bracelets, eye liner, and her hair in a ponytail, has confidence issues like me and is inexperienced and nerdy and likes video games and has a darkness about her. Not that I have a type or anything.

June82014

Man… This sucks. Everyone is so mature now, through the crazy phases, settling down… I’m desparate for sex, but I don’t want some one who’s experienced, and comfortable, and knows what they’re doing. I want some one who is just like me. Not even necessarily a virgin, but inexperienced, excited, a little scared, just like me… I’m 22 years old. How the hell can I find some one like that now?

April72014
shewas-happy:

please try to understand.

shewas-happy:

please try to understand.

(via shewas-happy-deactivated2014080)

3AM

shewas-happy:

I wish I could fall asleep tonight
And just not wake up in the morning.

(via shewas-happy-deactivated2014080)

3AM

itsmyayo:

Some things are meant to be broken , yes.

But im so damn tired of being one of those things.

Well said.

(Source: c0caine-kissess)

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